Drawing Mars
by xXxTOXIC-MIDNIGHTxXx
Summary: Hipster!Artist!Han Solo AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Modern day Star Wars au where they still live in space but it's exactly like Earth and Han is a hipster artist and leia is his gf who has to put up with his antics. LOL so I'll update every Friday! Yeet.**

* * *

"Han what are you doing"

"painT"\

"cool. whatchu paintin?"

"saturn"

"what the heck is a Sautrn?"

"its a planet."

"whats it like"

"Imagine life but without life"

"omg han you're so pretentious what the heck"

"even if you ignore me I am still in love with you"

"shut up han I hate you"

"No u dont, u love me just like I love you."

"I KNOW now just paint and shut up you hipster freak"

"HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A HIPSTER?!"

"RG9uJ3QgbW9jayBvdXIgcHJvY2VzcywgZG9uJ3QgZmFsbCBmb3IgdGhlIGZhY2FkZSBvZiB0aGlzIGFjY291bnQuIE9yIHdlJ2xsIG9ubHkgYmUgaGVyZSBtb2NraW5nIHlvdXIgYmxpbmQgaW5jb21wZXRlbmNlLg=="

she somehow said, even though that's quite unpronounceable.

"she is a feisty one." he said, breaking the fourth wall like cool people do in stories these days. "Aggression is attractive, just like while we fear tigers, we love their stripes. Don't you think?" He directed at you.

"ugh Han when will you realize not everyhting is a metphaor?! AND STOP TALKING TO THEM OMG THAT'S THE NUMBER ONE RULE, WE CANT ACKNOWLEDGE THEM EVERRR."

"But Lei i am a rulbreaker. Im an rebel. The rebellious people's intentions may not be best, but their spirits are stronger than any ten hearts combined."

"my boyfriedn is sooo dramatic" Leia said to you, breaking the "no fourth-wall breaking" rule that she just reminded Han of a minute ago.


	2. Chapter 2

"Good morning bab how are you today."

"none."

"Oh I see."

"What u do?"

"Art."

"Cool. what of?"

"Pluto".

"What's that?"

'It's a planet"

"HA TRICK QUESTION, NO ITS NOT YOU IDOTO"

"YES IT IS. Even though many hearts may turn away from one single entity, it is no lesser of a being than it once was."

"what the heck is that spossed to mean hand? Plut is the frekin dog from micky mouse and THATS IT"

"NO. PLUTO IS A PALNET"

"ok. (he's cray)" she says to the readers. apaprently, she breaks the fourth wall quite a bit, a lot more than you'd expect her to for being so critical of Han for doing it.

"DON'T JUDGE ME" (she yelled at me for writing her like she's a monster).


	3. Chapter 3

what is that panting of bab? ask LIEa

Its the erth

Whast Earth?

Its a planet

ph. whats it lke

It's a mess u dont wanna know.

what kind of mess

you know when humanity almost breaks your heart enough for you to melt, then suddenly springs back up right when you're about to die forever and you can't stay mad because they're such beautiful mistake-makers?

No, Han. Literally nobody know what you're talking about.

Oh. Well earth is kinda like that

how do you know

I been there

shut up

I have

no you havent you lier

YES I HAVE I EVEN GOIT A SOUVENIR

OH YEAH? PROV IT

he pulled out a stale piece of a french fry he found on the ground at Earht. SEE!? POTOTAOES!

Oh.


	4. Chapter 4

Lemme guess? You're drawing more lame planets for your lame art collection.

THEY'RE NOT LAME THEY'RE VERY COOL. wow leia you are _so_ abusive.

shut up you big baby, I'm the nicest person you ever met.

"Toxic relationships are dangerous, my friends " he soliloquied to you. "she is sooo beautifulk but alas she is justa rose full of way too many thorns"

"omg han what did I literally just tell you 3 chapters ago? DON'T TALK TO THEM, WE CANT BREAK THE FORTHH WALL! "

"whoops. anyway I am drawing jutiper."

"oh"

"its really cool."

"I don't care."

"but leia"

"no han, I literally dont care about your lame space obsession"

"but we live in space"

"shhhhh"

"whoops"

"omg han you spoiled the ending. the readers are supposed to think we live in normal, not aspace!"

"whoo"


	5. Chapter 5

"whatchu drawing now"

"uranus..." he say

"you might be expecting us to make some cliche, trite joke about someone's rear end." breaked fourth wall agaIN. "And while it was a perfect set up, I'm way too respectful for that. Leai doesn't desrvese to be treat like that, even if she treats me like trash. Even though a rose may prick you with its throns, you would never trample them!"

"stop trying to make yourself feel good Han omg you're literally a nerd drawing the solar system"

"oh"

"I think we should break up" Han thought to himself. Too bad Leia is reading this story now and his inner thoughts weren't private after all

"WAHT OMg HAN YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE ME" leia screeched screechily, rolling her eyes at me for doing such an injustice to her true character.

"YE, I SOOOO CAN LEIaa"

"NO"

they don't leave each other

Han is mad at me for writing it this way, but he'll have to put up with it until he draws MArs like the name of the story.


	6. Chapter 6

Thats bright

its the sun

I KNOW WHAT THE SUN IS YOU MORON

well im drawing it

what happened to the paint

 **flashback**

 ** _toss,_**

leia tossed all of han's paint out the windooooww **_down_**

 _ **down down**_

 _ **down**_

 _ **down**_

 _ **PLOP**_

it hit the street. colorful but messy.

 **end flashbakc.**

Oh. well pencils are cool too

Gee Leia you think IDK thaT?!\\\

NO, I THINK YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING

ROOD

CAN u please just draw mars so we can edn this frikicn story with hardly any plot except us screaming at eachother?! ?! ?! ?! ?! ?! ?! ?! !?

NO LEIA A STORRY ENDED TOO SOON IS NEVER A SUCCESS, FOR EVEN tHOUGH IT REELS YOU IN, IT NEVER COMES TO A SATISFYING CONCLUSION.

WHEN WILL IT END THEN

NOT UNTIL THE NEXT CHAPTER

ugh.


	7. Chapter 7

"ugh finally chapte 7. tell me you-"

"Yes LEais,, yes I drawing FREAKING mars. are you happy now?"

"babe, I will NEVER be happy"

"ugh why'

"it's not red enough"

"Well gee liea I bet if I had paint it could be rredder but GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT"

 **-flashback**

"shut up han," interupted leia "we dont need a flashbvack we already saw what happened to your fricking paint

"ugh fine **end flashback,**. THAT'S why I cant paint."

you can still be vibramt!"

MAYBE TO GET A VIBRANT RED I WOULD NEED BlOOD

ew you are so dark

ye ofc I am, I am a hipstere. those with dark minds can accomplish anythhing, for those who only think of happiness are not realistic enough, and will never have their life turn out like they envision. Whereas those with dark thoughts have a realer, clearer slate to view the world on.

STOP TRYING TO SOUND SO COOL YOU FREAKING PRENTENISOUS LOSER

they broek up

"omg thank God" han said to me, the writer."

"ye thanks I'm so glad this story is over" leai cheered in her head."


End file.
